Thursday thoughts  

aflower2c 45F  
5639 posts
5/16/2019 10:28 am
Thursday thoughts



Uncaring sex vs fulltime relationship sex, why is there such a great divide between them or its one vs the other.
Are we so far removed from the human connection that we view others as a thing to do rather than a person to meet.

I know I have had to change the way I meet from making plans to meet a specific person, I now make plans to shop or eat in that area and if he shows up then good if not whatever because I'm already doing something. My time was not treated well because I was willing to meet and travel, being treated as a lesser person because of that meant a hard lesson learned to not make plans.
I just don't understand the race to who can stay the most detached, disinterested, and cold...yet desire passionate, fun, trusting sex.

Anyhoo,
Pondering again because #SexuallyFrustrated ...and lonely, tired of masturbating, mentally bored with dating sites. Lol

Enjoy your day and don't forget to line up your hot dates for the wknd

Little miss flower

Written from a small city middle of no where kink thinkin kinda gal.


aflower2c 45F  
13322 posts
5/16/2019 10:28 am

Long wknd for the Canadians.

Little miss flower

Written from a small city middle of no where kink thinkin kinda gal.


Paulxx001 62M
8549 posts
5/16/2019 12:37 pm

I imagine... it's different for everyone. The luck of the draw? A Lotto ticket with a missing number?
Yep... It's different for everyone. You can keep trying... to get those other numbers. 🤔

Words are like meatloaf- they can be sculpted into any shape you choose.
She asked me a question.Handcuffs Or Silk Scarves


Granny872 66F  
991 posts
5/16/2019 2:16 pm

I just don't understand the race to who can stay the most detached, disinterested, and cold...yet desire passionate, fun, trusting sex.

I don't either, but I think it becomes a shield for us as we are pummeled through the mating dance, especially since so many of us are forced to meet people on anonymous websites. And when people buy into the hype of 'meet someone tonite for sex!' it becomes a race, for some, to see if it's possible. Ever notice how many complainers there are when another person says 'no' to the request to hook up immediately? Suddenly the person saying 'no' is accused of spoiling the game for everyone else.

The person who dumps garbage into your mind will do you considerably more harm than the person who dumps garbage on your floor, because each load of mind garbage negatively impacts your possibilities and lowers your expectations ~~~ Zig Ziglar


aflower2c replies on 5/16/2019 3:15 pm:
It's just as bad on standard dating sites, that race for instant gratification is first n foremost.

Leegs2012 46M
39415 posts
5/16/2019 3:16 pm

Sex in great relationships can be painful, because of Break Ups. It hurts to care for someone...the Sex is great and then they dump you.


aflower2c replies on 5/16/2019 4:36 pm:
Just yours.
You know you can be friends and have sex without being romantically and financially involved.

If guys did a better job at the casual sex then I wouldn't have to look for a fuckin romantic relationship just so I can have good sex instead of being treated as a masturbatory sleeve.

aflower2c replies on 5/16/2019 5:18 pm:
Again that highlighted the great divide between nsa/anonymous sex and fulltime monogamous relationship.
You know theres a vast area in between those polar opposites right.

I want sex to be good for me and not just for him, so I'm forced to look for a relationship because too many are afraid of that grey area in between.

proteus_2a 53M
6678 posts
5/16/2019 10:56 pm

Interesting thoughts on the fast food attitude my lady
Couldn't agree more, as I've been telling you time and again

Cheers,and have a great weekend yourself

P


aflower2c replies on 5/17/2019 7:07 am:
I get why some find it exciting and why soo mamy are selfish, and protecting thier emotions... but I really wonder if they are just banging away trying to fill that empty soace and then get stuck in that loop - looking for more n more empty sex to fill that void.

dabrown33 45M
581 posts
5/16/2019 11:33 pm

aflower2c replies on 5/16/2019 4:36 pm:

You know you can be friends and have sex without being romantically and financially involved.


In theory. In practice, not so much.

Good sex requires intimate knowledge of the other person's likes and desires. But that requires emotional bonding. Which goes beyond friendship. And separating feelings from that? Next to impossible.

Oh, sure- there are sex professionals that are paid to give a better experience. I'm not talking about them.

You don't like the term "friends with benefits" but that's what it is, and in most cases I suspect one or both people end up feeling more than that. Which turns it into a relationship, even if there is no "formal" relationship like BF/GF, or more. That breaks the agreement on it being just friends.

The vast divide is there. Do guys exist in the middle? Yes. But guys in that middle ground have other issues that might be "disqualifying".

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aflower2c replies on 5/17/2019 6:58 am:
You are not qualified to say whether its theory or practice, as someone that has never had a relationship with a woman.

Casual partners can happen, especially in the poly lifestyle (even though poly folk want to thump thier chest and say all thier relationships are 'real'.).
Its a matter of finding those in the same mindest.

aflower2c replies on 5/17/2019 6:59 am:
Unfortunately in my area its hardline monogamy or its nsa/anonymous sex. But i have zero desire to travel for casual partners.

SelflessLover068 59M  
32284 posts
5/17/2019 2:49 am

Personally I want to know someone before having sex with them... I'm not really into the one night stand or as I call it... Just a cold fuck... Have a grrrrrrrrrrrreat weekend


aflower2c replies on 5/17/2019 7:05 am:
I definitely preferred to get to know the other petson, way easier to have sensual fun, rather than just an awkward fuck where it feels he should leave the money on the dresser.

dabrown33 45M
581 posts
5/17/2019 10:07 am

aflower2c replies on 5/17/2019 6:58 am:
You are not qualified to say whether its theory or practice, as someone that has never had a relationship with a woman.

Casual partners can happen, especially in the poly lifestyle (even though poly folk want to thump thier chest and say all thier relationships are 'real'.).
Its a matter of finding those in the same mindest.


You can say i'm not qualified, but I call it a "unique perspective". Again, I can't change the past. Plus I have had relationships with women, just not sexual ones.

But the second statement that poly people claim all their relationships are real sort of proves my point- it's not casual if you claim it's a relationship. Sure, maybe there are people that can keep their poly relationships "equal" but really, does it work that way? Or do they end up being more attached to a particular person?

So if you're not willing to travel and you can't find anyone local that meets your desires, I think you know what the result will be. You have told me repeatedly how my past choices have resulted in my present situation, and you're not wrong. But just as it's wrong for me to "blame" women for my lack of finding anyone, I think you blaming men for you not finding what you want is just as self-defeating.

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aflower2c replies on 5/17/2019 1:58 pm:
I just don't want to travel because the sex was rarely worth it. I would rather go without instead of driving 10 hrs only to have him ghost or put in 10 min of effort.
I would rather save my money and just pay for a pro.

dabrown33 45M
581 posts
5/17/2019 3:42 pm

aflower2c replies on 5/17/2019 1:58 pm:
I just don't want to travel because the sex was rarely worth it. I would rather go without instead of driving 10 hrs only to have him ghost or put in 10 min of effort.
I would rather save my money and just pay for a pro.


But are you open to men traveling to you? Getting ghosted would be aggravating no matter the distance but over an hour would be rage inducing.

As for guys only putting in 10 (or less) minutes of effort, why do you think that happens? Hookup culture- the 3 Fs (Find, Fuck, Forget) is ingrained in the frat-boy mentality. Why change it if it works? Of course, it DOESN'T work for most guys. Just the ones that are fit, rich, and handsome.

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aflower2c replies on 5/17/2019 6:08 pm:
I'm too private in real life that I wont invite anyone into my private space especially around my family home.

And zero interest in meeting at a hotel. Lol

So yep, return to virginity for this cat.

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