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| Blogs > racyredlace > The Lingerie Drawer |
I don't want to be your girlfriend.
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I don't want to be your girlfriend. But can you love me in the deep? In the dark? In the thick of it? Can you love me when I drink from the wrong bottle and slip through the crack in the floorboard? Can you love me when I'm bigger than you, when my presence blazes like the sun does, when it hurts to look directly at me? Can you love me then too? Can you love me in the starry night , shaved and smooth, my skin like liquid moonlight? Can you love me when I am howling and furry, standing on my haunches, my lower lip stained with the blood of my last kill? When I bring down the lightning, when the sidewalks are singed by the soles of my feet, can you still love me then? What happens when I freeze the land, and cause the dirt harden over all the pomegranate seeds we've planted? Will you trust that Spring will return? Will you still believe me when I tell you I will become a raging river, and spill myself upon your dreams and bring them the surface of your life? Can you trust me, even though you cannot tame me? Can you love me, even though I am all that you fear and admire? Will you fear my shifting shape? Does it frighten you, when my eyes flash like your camera does? Do you fear they will capture your soul? Are you afraid step into me? The meat-eating plants and flowers armed with poisonous darts are not in my jungle to stop you from coming. Not you. So do not worry. They belong to me, and I have invited you here. Stay to the path revealed in the moonlight and arrive safely to the hut of Baba Yaga: the wild old wise one, she will not lead you astray if you are pure of heart. You cannot be with the wild if you fear the rumbling of the ground, the roar of a cascading river, the startling clap of thunder in the sky . If you want be safe, go back your tiny room, the night is not for you. If you want be torn apart, come in. Be broken open and devoured. Be set ablaze in my fire. I will not leave you as you have come: well dressed, in finely-threaded sweaters that keep the cold away. I will leave you naked and biting. Clawing at the sheets. you surrounded by owls and hawks and flowers that bloom when no one is watching. So, come to me, and be healed in the unbearable lightness and darkness of all that you are. There is nothing in you that can scare me. Nothing in you I will not use make you great. A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature. She is the source of all your primal desires, and she is the wild whipping wind that uproots the poisonous corn stalks on your neatly tilled farm. She will plant pear trees in the wake of your disaster. She will see it that you shall rise again. She is the lover who restores you to your own wild nature. |
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a lot to unpack here
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These are things we do for someone we want to be around or with, not someone who has someone else that doesn't do these things. Using more than all the road!
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