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Blogs > tresennui > Succumbing to Curiousity

Stood Up  

tresennui 69F  
2841 posts
5/29/2009 5:34 am

Last Read:
5/6/2016 9:19 pm
Stood Up
As a perv, my first thought
,

but after talking to A F Fers and reading posts and blogs it's the phenomenon of making a date and not showing up. I would never do it and fortunately it has never been done to me. But, it seems to be a common occurrence. I'd love to hear from those who have done it; however, I'm sure none would fess up. Do you have friends who are guilty? Have they told you their reasoning? Why commit to a meeting if you have no intention of following through or if you change your mind, why not be honest and let the person know before they're sitting in a restaurant or bar, alone...anticipating arrival?
Tresennui
Succumbing to Curiosity...read me at tresennui
wellillbecammed 61M  
36 posts
6/2/2009 1:48 pm

 Wow, that pretty much covers it all. My two cents on the subject as I've been on both sides of this.....

I think the two biggest reasons for not showing up are;

1. The person was never serious about meeting in the first place.

and,

2. Once they got to the place to meet the person, they found out the person had not been entirely honest about their personal appearance. Say what you will, but if a guy/gal puts on their profile, "a little extra padding" and they are seriously overweight or challenged in other ways and they weren't honest about it, then shame on them. This applies to both men and women, obviously.

So I'll ask the next question. If you go to meet someone and experience #2, which is better, to go up to them, introduce yourself and say, sorry, you're not what I expected and leave, or should you just avoid that unpleasantness altogether?

'cammed


tresennui replies on 6/2/2009 4:52 pm:
Go with it...carry on polite conversation for a little while and then politely exit. Appearance aside, if you decided to meet someone after chatting there was something in your conversations that compelled you to do so....unfortunately, doesn't mean there will be mutual physical attraction. I'm assuming there was some type of friendship that developed chatting and/or emailing. You should at least be able to discuss in person some of the subjects covered online.....even if only for a short time.

whoisagentj 54M
6060 posts
6/1/2009 2:56 pm

 You know, I've only done one or two dates on here and to be honest, I've always shown up on my dates, yet I have had people cancel on me. Must be because I'm such a nice guy it comes through over the phone and makes people realize that they can shit all over me and get away with it.
Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...

Agent


gentile_sadico 59M
1392 posts
5/29/2009 10:01 pm

 i'd never do something like that...


lusciouslvr07 64F

5/29/2009 8:32 pm

 First of all, it was interesting reading what some men had to say about this topic. Thanks guys! I don't recall anyone standing me up, or me doing it to someone else. There have been last minute cancellations either by me or the "date" because I also tell them to call if something comes up as a courtesy to me.

I find that the game players who don't end up following through with a face to face are the ones who never progress to talking on the phone, thereby never actually plan a meeting. I think we all learn how to pick up on the folks like that and just move on.

I think it's just plain rude to stand someone up. It's not that hard to make up a lie to cancel or "fess up" that you've changed you're mind and are no longer interested.


horny196364 60M

5/29/2009 12:51 pm

 love to chat with you sometime


dicklomat9 60M

5/29/2009 11:54 am

 Early post, eh?
I haven't been stood up by anyone from this site, but I have had women who have said that they would write/call/meet me sometime and have never heard from them again.
A little different from what you were asking, but still related in my mind.

You're looking fabulous, as usual.


goodlookincookin 53M
157 posts
5/29/2009 9:49 am

 Tres, it happens to the best of us. In my experience, you have to learn the use of a few phrases.

1. If you're not going to be there, tell me now.

2. Don't waste my time.

3. If you're unable to make it, call me.

I've only been stood up once, but since I started telling women those things, and being CLEAR about what I expect, it hasn't happened since. When you don't give someone the option of standing you up, it will rarely happen. But, the fact remains that there are people that don't live up to their word. My thinking is, if they are willing to try to earn the trust back, then the ball's in their court. Otherwise, I don't expect to hear from them again. Life goes on. Their loss.


69asapII 59M
Ask me for a photo

5/29/2009 7:08 am

 Ciao Tres.....It's happened to me often, for whatever reason. My opinion is that some people really don't care because this is a swingers site and it all about "me". Who cares about the other person involved...they'll get over it. Personally, I've never done it and if I had to cancel at the very least I called and explained why before the meeting.


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